May 6, 2008
I haven’t really posted in, heck, almost a year. So much for my good intentions about becoming a blogger! In truth my thoughts had been to post about my progress in my PhD, and what with one thing another (well, actually several things) that pulled my heart and time away, I feel as though I am still where I was a year ago. Actually, now that my preface was hands down rejected by the grad committee, I feel as though I am even further behind than I was this time last year. Lack of understanding (theirs in terms of the goals of my project, and mine in terms of the field I want to go into) coupled with the ever present politics has made for a road-block or two. Throw in to the mix several unique opportunities from my Medieval contacts, and I begin to wonder what the heck I am doing.
I know the answer is just simply to play the game their way until I can get past my QEs, but a part of me feels like the texts I am being asked to prepare are a colossal waste of my time. Ok, that’s a really proud and arrogant statement from someone who isn’t even officially a ‘PhD candidate’ yet. But when I look at the reading list of my peers at other universities who are doing the kind of work I want to do, I feel like I’m being asked to become proficient in a field that seems so far from what I want to be in.
I know, I know, another really arrogant and proud statement from a mere grad student. But that’s the way it feels.
Hopefully tomorrow things won’t look quite so bleak.
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